Friday, December 31, 2010

Transformation

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Last year my word for 2010 was transformation. I had a specific image in my head how this would look. Much to my surprise, the transformation I went through came in a completely different form.
I began a photo journal to document my transformation, from which this photo is taken, last January. I abandoned the project once I began to feel ashamed that not only was there no transformation taking place, but I seemed to be backsliding.
During that time I was drowning in certain realities about life and my place in the world, in my family, and in my own head.
It wasn't until I started reflecting on the past year and trying to come up with a word for 2011 that I realized I did undergo a huge transformation, it just wasn't in the sense of the word that I originally intended.
Sitting here writing this I realize I am in a completely different place than I was at this time last year. I am content. I gave in to who I am, not who I think I should be or what I think is expected of me. I am happy.
I haven't stopped caring about others or abandoned my responsibilities, but I do approach those aspects of humanity much more honestly and authentically.
Upon reflection I am satisfied to know that the transformation I underwent was not a physical one, but a mental one.
As for my word for 2011, well, perhaps it will come to me at some point today.


4 comments:

mamatronic said...

This is a beautiful image and a beautiful way of seeing yourself. The ability to just be is a worthy goal. Why is it so often missed?

C. Knack said...

thank you.

I'm not sure, too much "input" in these times I suppose.

I hope you have a lovely year!

Caroline said...

I love this photo...transformation is a big word. I can only imagine how you changed and grew last year. My word last year was bloom..and bloom I did (it was not always pretty...but I closed the year a completely different person).

margaret said...

I just realized how far behind I am on your blog. LOVED reading this.